In July 2015, I closed my original Facebook account and started over. While most people tend to have a social media overhaul after a significant breakup and/or mental breakdown, I made this decision because I wanted to create an online space with people I know personally. Offline, I’ve made a conscientious effort to invest more time and energy in substantial relationships (family, genuine friendships, like-minded colleagues, etc.) that bring me joy. I felt it was also a good time to align my online connections accordingly.
I transitioned from 2,000+ FB friends to under 500. With the exception of a handful, I’ve met all of my current FB friends in person AND had significant interactions with them. It’s been a little over a month and I have no regrets. A few unexpected things happened when I made the switch. Upon receiving my friend request, many friends thought my identity had been compromised. I received a lot of emails, phone calls and texts confirming I had moved on to a new account. It was refreshing because those messages reminded me that my genuine friends give a shit and will let you know if you may be in danger. Starting over accompanied mixed emotions. It was a bit disappointing to now be detached from all tagged photos and posts from the last 10 years. However, it’s part of the reality of starting over and moving forward. I had all sorts of trivial fears about starting over:
- What if people I really like/respect don’t want to be friends with me anymore? — At the end of the day, it’s silly to obsess over someone not wanting to be your friend on Facebook. I get it. I sometimes ask myself what I’ve done to make someone I met one time at a bar in Burbank HATE ME SO MUCH he/she no longer wants to be connected EVEN on Facebook. I mean, it’s not like we have to hangout again or anything. WTF is the point of feeling this way? Obviously that person doesn’t care and their level of giving a shit should mirror my own. I’ve already spent way too much time worrying about what other people think. #DoneAF
- I won’t be able to reminisce as I spend minutes wasting time scrolling through old photos from the days I used to shop at Forever 21! — this turned out to be a perk. I was usually tipsy and smiling way too big (so big you can see my molar fillings!) in those photos. Move on, bitch!
- What if I offend people when I don’t accept their friend request? — I’m aware that it’s become a social faux pas to decline friend requests, but I don’t think it does anyone any good to oblige people online. It’s especially true when receiving requests that are obviously solely based on:
- a random desire to befriend a Little Person
- a potential scam — Yeah, you, HotMAMA_YOU_WANT_SOME_OF_THIS I’m not interested and don’t want to give you my CC information!
- another twit to send me Candy Crush, Farm something, etc. requests. Stop it! I don’t know WTF is Candy Crush and I wouldn’t even want to plant things in real life let alone online. You can’t consume cyber vegetables!
- What if this is an impulsive decision I’ll regret and have to endure the embarrassment of bringing everyone over to a new account only to go back? — this didn’t happen.
I had more trivial fears, but they get progressively embarrassing.
It’s been a positive experience since opening my new account. I’m able to keep in touch with friends I don’t see regularly more often. Now that my newsfeed isn’t flooded with memes & event posters from strangers, I can finally keep up with cute baby photos, life milestones and other details from my real life friends. Since I don’t spend a lot of time on social media (I have Chrome’s “Stay Focused” extension to limit social media time to 20 minutes a day — I have no discipline!), it was an added value to be able to have family/friend updates quickly.
The outcome? I’ve noticed I’m a lot happier and feel less angry about dumb things I can’t change.
