I started my day committing to #NoComplaintsWeek and quickly found it challenging to sustain. I lasted mayyybe two minutes after I tweeted a confirmation. In all fairness, I didn’t really commit to anything. I eluded that it was a good idea. My optimism peaks after a strong dose of caffeine. I try my best to be positive and chirpy, but I honestly feel so much sadness when people are inconsiderate assholes. I recognize my standards for people are pretty damn high and sometimes unreasonable. Actually, no. My standards aren’t much. I feel happiness when someone opens the door for me. I appreciate people not chewing me out for something I didn’t do. I feel grateful when humans treat me like a human. It baffles me that some of the most basic acts of humanity is lost on most people.
At the moment, I work in an area that has a pretty not-so-okay reputation of being scary and whatever. The media paints a picture of poverty and violence. People assume I took this job because I’m desperate. I was desperate. If I had some self-esteem before graduating, I may have missed out on this opportunity. I had all sorts of doubts and in the end trusted in a power greater than me that I was supposed to be here for this season.
To my surprise, I have come across some of the most compassionate and kind people in this area with a bad reputation. People smile at me. They ask if I need assistance. I feel like a human being when I walk to and from my two offices. I honestly don’t feel that often here in Hawaii. My least favorite place is Kahala Mall because I always get the worst treatment when I’m shopping there. I shop at Whole Foods at 7am on Saturdays because I dread the sadly inevitable bullshit of people snickering and laughing at me.
Kahala is supposedly a wealthy area, but the people who shop there are ignorant assholes who lack basic human decency. I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m not. When I share this experience, I’m often met with some sort of justification that I went there on “a bad day”. So far, it’s been about 17 out of 22 “bad days” since I’ve moved back in January 2013. How do I know? I kept track because I like data and facts. I didn’t want to be that jackass who generalizes. It sucks there and I avoid that pit of hell when possible.
The highlight of my day was talking to someone who visited the office. I was covering for our awesome AA again and came across a wonderful human. I’ve always been so fascinated by people. I’m a pretty good listener and genuinely enjoy learning. She shared a story that ended with a confirmation that we can’t judge people and places by what we hear or read. After she left, I felt so grateful to be working in this community with a “bad reputation”. It took 3.5 years to restore my faith in the people of Hawaii.
Yeah, I have awesome friends. I’ve always known that. What really impresses me on a personal level is when strangers are kind to me for no reason. Friends are supposed to not be assholes. Strangers have a choice. #SorryNotSorry that this post is filled with complaints. I’m an asshole sometimes too, but I hope we can all work together to be less judgemental. Don’t be nicer to someone just because he drives a Mercedes. Don’t be a dick to someone just because he’s clearing your table. If possible, be courteous to people you come across. You may be the only pleasant experience of their damn day, just like this nice lady who came in to my office this afternoon.
