Are you a comedian or just a regular asshole? I can’t tell.

Last night I went to a comedy show in Hawaii and I was so happy that not even one performer used the word “midget” in their sets. I had promised friends to take them to a local comedy show and I finally delivered. The last time I took my friend to see one of my favorite comedians Ian Edwards because we were lucky he stopped by in Honolulu.

One of the openers did some crowd work and said something along the lines of “I know she’s (pointing at me) here, but I’m going to say it anyway”. Oh shit. He told an awkward (probably fake) story about how he slept with a blind person and or something and somehow associated it with me. Like a lot of uninformed Americans, he made the assumption all disabled people are the same (and need to be made fun of!). He reenacted himself doing nasty things to this person and at some point eluded that the gross experience was probably how I have sex. Some people laughed while most of the audience probably had their buttholes clenched tight like I did. I was thrilled when he finally stopped talking.

When Ian Edwards performed, he was super smart and funny as usual. Everyone quickly recovered from the awkwardness and we all moved on with our lives. While living in LA, I would often see Ian at the Comedy Store, Laugh Factory and the Improv. Although he was a million times more awesome and talented than I was, he was always so kind to me. Since he’s a professional, he’s never had to resort to attacking someone in his audience.

It’s been maybe a year or so since that show. My classmates have wanted to check out shows for a long time, but I avoided it because I didn’t want that shit to happen. When I was a performer, I was sometimes the recipient of being pointed out. Back then, I was part of the show or got in for free because I was part of that network. I haven’t performed in four years and now I pay for tickets in hopes to enjoy comedy. I love comedy so much, but it can be such a painful experience for me because some people use me as an easy target.

I see it a lot in people who are just starting out. Yeah, I get it, it can take years for comics to find their voice and understand the nuances of performing comedy. The one thing that most REALLY good comics is their ability to be funny in crowd work picking on a person who probably doesn’t get teased on a daily basis. I get shit about my physicality everyday. People who are overweight get really random judgement from strangers. Black people get a lot of shit too for some reason. Mexican people are always called out about Home Depot. It requires ZERO intelligence to poke fun at someone who is already getting laughed at by society. I get that people say a lot of shitty things in comedy and yeah whatever, I’m “too sensitive”, but the truth is that hearing awful things all the time chisels at a person’s soul. When I read about people shooting people and stuff, I think, wow, that person just had enough.

Fortunately for me, I can barely confidently aim my pepper spray and don’t want to bother getting a gun or anything. I don’t want to partake in violence because I know the media will just try to sway people to think that it’s primarily about factors A, B, & C. Instead of pouring out my frustration through bullets or a taser gun (which I would be really stoked to have), I’m just sad. I am very happy I have a lot of positive things going on in my life. Good people, a fulfilling job, health insurance. Not everyone has that stuff. This start out about comedy, but it’s really encouragement to be mindful of poking fun at people for things that they already struggle with everyday. It’s none of your damn business if so and so should just eat healthier or that homeless person should get a job. Just stop being assholes. Please. You are embarrassing yourself! I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday. ❤

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